Uncertain and Unconcerned: Life in Your Twenties

As a teenager, I had this idea that when I reached my twenties everything would suddenly make sense. Who I was and who I wanted to be would finally align. My life plans would gently click into place like a ridiculously simple 9-piece puzzle. And I would be happy, genuinely happy. I guess I can’t blame myself back then. I was something of a mess in high school and desperate for the hope that things would, some day, get better.

Needless to say, things haven’t worked out quite the way I imagined. I’m finding that my life is more like a 500-piece puzzle of the White Album, nothing fitting together and half of the pieces scattered in unknown locations. Of course, some things have fallen into place: I finished college, started grad school, and I have a job (though part-time) that I love. 

And though I’m nowhere near having it all figured out, I have learned some important lessons in my twenty-three years. This is what I know for certain:

• Cherish your friendships. Stay in touch with the people who matter. Some friendships are always easy. But sometimes, the longer you go without talking to someone, the harder it is to jump back into the comfort of your friendship. So make the phone call or send the e-mail or show up at someone’s door unexpected. You won’t regret putting in that effort.
•  Don’t waste your time on things that you don’t love. You’re young; you have plenty of time to be miserable further down the road. This is the time to figure out what makes you happier than anything else and pursue it with everything you’ve got.
• For every curveball life throws you, for every awful day, for every morning that makes getting out of bed seem absolutely impossible, you will also experience moments of overwhelming, sublime happiness. And the best part? You never know when these instances will arise: laughing at nothing with friends, jumping off of a roof into a pool, getting caught in the rain. Soak in this unexpected glory, because you’ll need to draw on these moments when the next curveball heads your way.
• Take risks. Take little risks and big risks. Ask your crush out, apply for the job that you’ll never in a million years get, go skydiving, get a tattoo, climb a tree, share something you’ve created. Don’t leave yourself looking back and wondering what could have been.
• You are stronger than you think you are. When you have no other choice, your mind and body will endure much more than you ever expected. And once you’ve experienced something truly harrowing, you’ll begin to understand the extent of your own strength.  

It’s funny how we always seem to believe that the future holds the answers. We tell ourselves that if we can just get through this week or this month or this year, things will get better. And sometimes that’s true. Sometimes things do improve after time. But the fact is that there is not a magical age at which we abruptly morph into whole, happy robots. And maybe that’s a good thing. Not knowing what to expect means that we can live lives full of surprises. We can find pieces of our puzzles unexpectedly, in songs and books, in conversations with strangers, in new discoveries and unfamiliar places.

So far, my twenties have been an amalgamation of the great and the not-so-great. I’ve fallen in love and had my heart unceremoniously smashed to pieces. I’ve clawed my way, very slowly, back from rock bottom. I’ve felt both irreparably broken and happiness to the point of effervescence. And I’m only twenty-three. I mean, what’s in store for me over the next seven years? I guess that’s the point I’m trying to make: we have no idea where we’ll be ten years from now or a week from now or even a few hours from now (what am I going to eat for dinner?!). We can’t expect to magically reach a place where things fall together. All we can do is buckle our seatbelts and raise our glasses because we’re looking at another 60 years of all-out confusion, frustration, exuberance, and at times, great joy. And I’ll cheers to that. 

20 Things to Do in the Summertime Instead of Sitting in Front of the TV

Summer is a time for going on adventures, but somehow the heat always makes me want to sit inside 24/7 by the beginning of July. So if you're like me, here are some ideas that might help to keep you motivated to enjoy the summer the way it was meant to be enjoyed.

1. Have a huge water fight. Get together with a bunch of friends and bring water balloons, super soakers, and even a sprinkler. Run around and just go crazy.
2. Go on a bike ride.
3. Host a bonfire. Gather your marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers and sit around a fire pit playing games and chatting.
4. Sit outside. Find a restaurant or bar with patio seating and sit outside with drinks and appetizers (or desserts)!
5. Get nostalgic. Create a sidewalk chalk mural, play with bubbles, or buy one of those little kiddie pools for your backyard.
6. Plant a garden.
7. Get healthy. Head to your backyard and do some yoga, or find a local group that hosts outdoor exercise classes.
8. Go canoeing or kayaking.
9. Hunt for bargains. Summer is the time for garage sales and outdoor flea markets.
10. Have a picnic. Find some picnic tables at a local park or just bring a blanket and your favorite sandwiches and fruits.
11. Attend an outdoor concert. Many cities have outdoor arenas that host concerts that are cheap or even free.
12. Spend a day at the beach.
13. Go on an adventure. Search around your state for companies that take people sky diving or up in hot air balloons. Many of these activities can only be done in the warm months, so now is the time!
14. Go camping. Even if you don’t have a full weekend to travel, set up a tent in your backyard and pack a bag.
15. Read. Create a summer reading list and spend the summer reading on your front porch or patio.
16. Shop at a local farmer’s market.
17. Go to a local art fair or outdoor festival.
18. Go on a road trip. Even if you can only spare one day on the weekend, head to some tourist traps in your own state. Haven't you always wanted to see the world's largest ball of yarn or apple pie?
19. Make margaritas. Or mimosas. Or create a new summer cocktail.
20. Play backyard games. Ladderball, horseshoes, and bocce ball are all great choices. Invite your friends over for a bbq and then take your pick.

Do you have any fun summer activities to add to this list?

Flashback Friday: Dress-Up

Am I the only 20-something who still owns a dress up box? Probably.

You never know when you might need to bust out old costumes.

 

The girls and me circa 2005

Happy Flashback Friday everyone!

Farewell to Film

...cameras, that is.

If you know, you know that I'm behind the times when it comes to technology. It usually takes me at least a year to join the currently “cool” social networking site (and that doesn't include the time it takes for me to learn how to use it).  Computers and other fancy-pants things also scare me. So it’s no surprise that it took me a while to get used to digital cameras when they started making their debut. 

As someone that loves hanging pictures on my walls, putting up frames, and making photo collages, I did not like the idea of having to sort through a memory card to decide what made the cut.  Sorting through a stack of photos from a film camera that you don’t necessarily remember taking is way more fun.

Via Flickr

Don’t get me wrong, I realize the convenience of going digital. I just think it's sad that the new generations of high school students will never experience the thrill of going to Meijer the morning after a Homecoming or Prom Dance to develop their film and then excitedly examine photos with friends an hour later. Now you can instantly delete pictures that are deemed "not good enough." It's increasingly difficult to find a place nearby that still prints film. And of course, funny blooper pictures are now a thing of the past.

So goodbye to you, dear film cameras: you will be missed.  

Via Whitney

The True Queen of the 90s Screen

I will always argue that Can’t Hardly Wait is the greatest teen movie of the 90s and that Empire Records is the perfect workplace. But today, I’d like to take the opportunity to give props to a majorly unappreciated actress of the 90s: Gabrielle Union.

photo via

When 90s movies are the topic of discussion (which happens pretty frequently in my life), the actresses that usually come to mind are those with three names: Rachael Leigh Cook, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Jennifer Love Hewitt. But I’d like to remind everyone of Gabrielle Union’s sassy supporting roles in a trifecta of stellar 90s films. In She’s All That she played Katie, a friend of uber-bitch Taylor Vaughan who was always friendly to Laney. Gabrielle also played best friend Chastity Church to Larisa Oleynik’s Bianca Stratford in 10 things I Hate About You. And finally, she played Isis, head cheerleader of the East Compton Clovers in the honorary 90s flick Bring It On.

And let’s not forget Gabrielle Union’s myriad television appearances in the 90s. She had roles on Moesha, Smart Guy, Sister, Sister, Clueless, and so many more. Although she played supporting roles, I say we give credit where it’s deserved. So here’s to you, Gabrielle Union, true queen of the 90s screen.

Flashback Friday: Summer Girls by LFO

Last weekend, as I was headed out to dinner with my family, a familiar tune came on the radio. My parents in the front seat had no idea what it was, and continued their conversation without acknowledgement. But then, I felt an overwhelming urge to sing/rap along: "New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick. And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer." The conversation halted as eyes shifted my way. That familiar "what the heck?" look taking over the faces of my family members as they wondered what had gotten into me. I'm sure, by this point, they started to recognize the song, as it played pretty much every second of the summer of 1999.




Yes, the song was "Summer Girls" by the male trio LFO (Lyte Funky Ones, if you want to get all fancy), also known for such hits as "Girl on TV" and... well... nothing else. But for me, and I'm sure many other 20-somethings, this song will always hold a special place in my heart. Its nonsensical lyrics (seriously, who likes Kevin Bacon but hates Footloose?), uptempo beats, and tried and true story of summer love will force me to sing along even 10+ years later. Yes, I did sing along for the entire song. Yes, I knew most of the words still. And yes, it's still as great as it was in 1999. Happy Flashback Friday! What was your favorite boy band of the 90's?

Book Review: The Fallback Plan

Leigh Stein's The Fallback Plan is the story of Esther Kohler, a depressed twentysomething wandering aimlessly through her post-grad life. Many of us have been in Esther's shoes: we close the door on a significant part of our lives and face an endless hallway of doors, or perhaps, an endless hallway of blank space that appears to lead nowhere. Esther moves back in with her parents, the titular "fallback plan," and seems to be waiting for a catalyst to get her life moving again. 

It's when Esther takes a job babysitting for the Browns, a couple whose infant daughter recently died, that the story begins moving. Esther spends her days playing in the Browns' backyard with four-year-old May while May's mother Amy works on a mysterious art project in the attic. Esther loves spending time with May, but her life remains rather static as she navigates several ill-fated romantic entanglements and attempts to write a screenplay.

There's no doubt that Leigh Stein is a talented writer; however, I didn't feel like I could take anything away from her characters. I like to read novels that make a character's unique struggles into something universal, something that anyone can relate to. Unfortunately, The Fallback Plan did the opposite for me: Esther's post-graduate conflicts were so mundane that they seemed specific only to her situation. Even as someone who experienced depressive episodes in college and felt that awful sensation of standing still while the rest of the world continues moving, I couldn't seem to relate to Esther. And most of the secondary characters were like stick figures rather than actual portraits of human beings. 

The part of the book that resonated most with me was Esther's memory of a cruel and traumatizing prank at a sleepover she attended when she was thirteen. Unfortunately, the tale lasted just a few pages and didn't really play into the novel's story as a whole. I imagine that Leigh Stein's writing will only improve if she continues, I just hope that I'll find something more in her future novels.


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